I'm sure you'll make some lowly retail worker's day with your moral fiber!

One time when I was 5 I took a Kit-Kat bar from the shelf and ate it while I was at the grocery store with my aunt. It wasn't even technically stealing yet, but when my aunt found out she wigged out and made me tell the cashier what I did and then use my own personal money to pay for it. I cried pretty much for the rest of the day.

Yeah, I was one of those kids who self-punished if you just said "I'm disappointed in you".